#the pure innocent sigma

[tokito-dulya20]

i drew a genderbend au of the DOA trio!!

i love how they look!! especially nikolai (•̀ω•́)✧

i hope you all like it!!

(their height might look a bit different bc i tried to fit them in the picture)

[theapangea]

Pure Intentions

Pairing/Characters: College!Lip Gallagher x innocent northside!reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: Your freshman experience in college isn’t exactly how you imagined but when Lip Gallagher invites you to your first college party, he has anything but pure intentions.

Warning: Protected sex, p in v, fingering, kissing, 18+, minors dni

A/N: Does everything I write for Lip lead to smut??? The answer is yes…the answer is always YES. I just can't help it, especially with an innocent reader. Ugh, Lip is just perfect for these moments. I hope you all enjoy ;). Hope you enjoy the long fic. Thank you so much for supporting my work, love ya!! All mistakes are mine.

*Also posted on AO3: theapangea*

Masterlist

Rough really isn't the word that you’d use. Uneventful, maybe? Bland…dull…boring. Really any of these words would suffice.

Your first few weeks at college were boring.

It almost pains you to actually admit that to yourself. But when the other students talk about parties and drinking and hooking up…you can’t help it that you over analyze all the things you are doing wrong with your college life. 

Isn’t college supposed to be when your life officially starts? When you have this new found freedom. The part in your life for experiencing and experimenting. Wow, even the thought of experimenting puts a nervous knot in your belly. Your eyes sweep the buzzing classroom as if to check if anyone is tuning into your radio waves. 

Relaxing into your seat, the minutes ticking by until the start of class and you are thinking about sex…well trying not to think about it…not that you really think about it at all. And the only reason that this is at the forefront of your mind is because the two boys to your right are talking about it…in public…at 9am.  

You can’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation because they sure as hell aren’t being quiet about it. You’re only one seat away from them, of course you’d be able to hear their conversation. You just wish they would keep it to themselves or at least when no one else is around. 

But since they both can’t seem to be quiet for more than a couple of seconds, then you will have to endure the lovely discussion. Thankfully, the second you start to silently plead for them to stop, they do. Switching the topic to a frat party going on later tonight. 

A Wednesday night frat party?

Is that what you’re missing in your college life? Getting black-out drunk on a school night. The first though that runs through your head is why? But a second, slightly quieter voice grabs your attention…the little voice in your head that is screaming of envy. That is tingling every fiber in your body, pleading with itself to go to the party. To experience anything other than the mundane, than the boring. But it isn’t like you to go to parties, or to even know how to ask more questions to attempt to go to the party. The sex discussion is starting to sound more appealing than the conflicting fighting going on inside your head.

And when you think, it can’t get anymore annoying, suddenly there is another third voice. One you don’t recognize. Realizing quickly that the voice isn’t inside your head after all. 

You aren’t completely sure if the confused look on your face or the stuttering over your words gave it away that you didn’t hear what the boy next you said at all. Because not only does he repeat himself but he also leans across the desk to get closer to you.

“You going to the party at Sigma Chi later?”

The boy speaking to you is Lip. You’ve come to know his name and just a little bit about him over the past several weeks. Nothing extraordinary other than a simple exchanging of names and hometowns. Turns out you are both from Chicago, just opposite the tracks from each other. Lip was one of those southside kids who was gifted enough to go to college and you were one of those northside kids who didn’t have a choice.

You’re unsure really how to respond to his question. Eventually landing on just shrugging your shoulders with an indecisive smile. 

“Why, north-siders don’t go to parties?” 

Sure they do. Don’t they? They must. Right?

To be honest, you aren’t really sure because you’ve never been to one. High school is not far off from college in terms of experiences. You were are a quiet kid and you’ve slowly had to come to terms with the fact that you’ve fallen a little behind. 

“You should come.” Lip smiles, his comment bouncing around your head.

You tuck the fallen strands of hair behind your ear, “I don’t know…” The words drift into the space that separates the two of you. 

“It’ll be fun.” Emphasizing the last word. Does he even realize that he’s biting his bottom lip right now?

“I don’t know anyone who’s going.” You are hesitant to speak, the pitch of your voice doesn’t sound quite right coming out of your mouth. 

“You know me.”

And with those three little words, the whole day becomes a haze. 

You end up exchanging phone numbers with Lip before the start of class. He texts you the address with a little smiley face emoticon. 

You can’t help the smile that tugs on your face the rest of the day. Following you from class to class, on your walk home and the whole entire time you spend getting ready. 

You are actually going to a college party. A boy invited you to a college party. Are you supposed to start screaming now or should you wait until afterwards? You honestly cannot decide. 

Gripping onto the strap on your tiny purse as you stand outside of the large home. Dozens of students streaming in and out, laughing, yelling. Your eyes don’t know where to look first as you take the first couple of steps into the house.

It’s quite exhilarating, your heart pounding loudly in your chest as the music fills your ears. You see some familiar faces and are able to muster up a small wave too but are overwhelmed by the number of people you don’t know. You are a little fish in the sea of sharks, knowing that any one of these animals can rip you to shreds. Which is oddly making this night much for exciting. 

Making your way into the large living area, the sea of students grinding on one another in the middle and shouting from a beer-pong game in the corner can be heard clearly over the blaring music. You stick closely to the walls, hoping in some way to disappear into the striped paper. Merely wanting to observe what really goes on at a college party, unsure if you will actually be able to participate in any way. This party is so far out of your comfort zone that it feels like you have been transported to another planet.

But this is what college is all about, right? Getting out of your comfort zone, participating in new experiences, living a little. The sad fact is that you just don’t know how. It’s scary, standing here by yourself, with no one to help shield you from the chaos. You cross your arms around your waist, shielding yourself from all of it. You feel completely out of place and are starting to feel like maybe you shouldn’t have come at all. 

It’s as if Lip is conjured out of thin air, being able to hear your silent pleads from across the house, when you finally see him squeeze his way through the horde of drunk students. His lazy smile brings you a tiny shred of hope that you are not alone. 

When he finally reaches you, he hands you a red cup filled with some unknown liquid. You raise an eyebrow at him, silently questioning the contents of the drink.

He laughs, leans into you, his hot breath on your ear, “Don’t worry, it’s just water.”

Your body physically reacts to his closeness by going weak in the knees, thankful that you have the wall behind you to hold yourself up right. But you still can’t help but feel like you're falling when he doesn’t move away, even after you take a drink of clear liquid. 

“I’m glad you came tonight.” The music is loud but not so loud that he needs to be this close to you and he knows it too. Your eyes lock together as if some unspoken words are being exchanged between the two of your bodies that you mind is too slow or too incompetent to understand. 

“I didn’t want to miss out on all the fun.” You playfully throw his words from earlier back at him. 

His laugh is radiant. The hot air coating your skin as he leans against the wall with his shoulder, just staring at you. A slow heat begins to grow in your cheeks under his stare. Shifting the plastic cup between your hands as your palms grow sweatier. 

You’ve never had someone look at you this way before. His blue eyes boring into yours, searching for all the answers to who you truly are. Sure, you can smell the alcohol on Lip’s breath but you can tell he isn’t drunk. You can sense that this mutual feeling is engulfing the both of you. The air around you both becomes increasingly warmer as he inches closer to you. 

His left hand reaches out for yours, his fingertips lightly touching yours, tapping them to the beat of the music. You can tell he is testing the waters, seeing if you will pull away or not. You cannot fathom the thought of ever pulling away from his touch.

Lip finally intertwines his fingers with yours, squeezing your hand gently as he pushes himself off of the wall and starts to walk backwards, pulling you along with him. Leaving the half-empty red cup forgotten on an end table. 

“Where are we going?” You giggle, a wide smile engulfing your features. 

“Just trust me.” He pulls you into the crowd of dancing classmates.

“Trust you? I barely know you.” You retort quickly as he pulls you against him, settling his hands on your hips as your arms instinctively wrap over his shoulders.

“Good.” He winks and you laugh and everything just feels so right in this moment.

Coming to this party was starting to feel like the beginning of your story, the beginning of getting over your fears of being left behind, of being forgotten by those your own age. Lip saw you in a crowd full of people, he chose you to be the one to dance with. 

In the middle of this packed living room, you and Lip are tangled in your own world. The air is thick with sweat, laughter, and a buzz that is emanating off the two of you. Your eyes lock with Lips, and for just a second, the chaos of your surroundings disappears. Leaving the two of you, embracing the spark that is traveling between your bodies.

Your heart begins to beat faster, the beat of the music pumping the muscle along as Lip pulls you closer. Your breaths mingle in the small shared space, with yours periodically halting when Lip’s hands curve around your waist, his fingertips brushing against the exposed skin on the small of your back.

And it’s within that touch, that gentle, meaning touch that something inside of your switches. That this simple moment between you and Lip is starting to mean something more, something real, something that you can reach out and hold between your hands. This isn’t some little fling that either of you are going to regret in the morning, everything at this moment is pure and intentional.

For the second time tonight, the music and crowd slowly fades away. It really is just you and Lip in a room full of sweaty people and you don’t seem to mind because you are with him. 

The song ends after a single moment, but neither of you seem to be able to move. You’re still held in his embrace, the same breath being exchanged between the two of you, when Lip dips his head. His mouth crashing into yours, filled with passion and need. 

One of his hands travels to your cheek while the other keeps you in position against his hard body. A slow burning fire spreads between you, lips moving together so perfectly as you fall into a gentle rhythm. The taste of him is so overwhelming, this new experience of kissing someone is more than you could have imagined. If you knew this was how this night was going to go then you may have stayed home, and you can’t help but feel so happy you didn’t. 

When Lip finally pulls away, it’s only enough to let some cold air mingle in the hot space between your mouths. 

You smile, your lips still tingling with remembrance of the kiss, looking into Lip’s eyes, “Should we…um, go somewhere else?”

You can’t believe those words just left your mouth. You asking a guy to go somewhere else is definitely not on your bingo card for the night. To be honest, none of what is happening was on your bingo card. This night was exceeding your expectations with each passing moment. 

Lip nods his head, a panting yes escapes him. 

Lip’s rough hands trail over your arms, leaving a wake of fire in its path. His hand intertwines with yours as he leads you out of the sweaty crowd to a more secluded area where the two of you can be alone. 

You can’t even begin to describe the way your body is buzzing right now, the nerves, the adrenaline pumping through your veins is the only thing making you stand up right. You have some idea what was going to happen when you and Lip enter a vacant room. You were sheltered but you aren’t that sheltered, you just haven’t ever had sex with anyone before.

This was your first time and maybe it wasn’t going to be in the most special place, but you can feel that it is going to be with someone so special. Your heart beats loudly in your ears as the music starts to fade into the background as you climb the staircase behind Lip.

He smiles at you, squeezing your hand gently as he pulls you towards the direction of some rooms. Punching a code into one of the doors furthest from the stairs. The lock clicks and Lip steps aside so you are able to enter first.

The room is clean, thankfully. A large bed takes up most of the space under three bay windows. A desk is adjunct to the wall the door is on. As you step inside, you start to realize that this isn’t some random room, but Lip’s room. This realization lets you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You are silently thanking anyone out there for not having your first time be in some randos bed. 

You aren’t quite sure what you do now that you are standing in Lip’s room. The adrenaline is starting to wear off and the nerves are shooting through your limbs. It will be any second now where you will start to overthink this whole thing and may ruin it before it can even begin. But this is something that you desperately want to experience in college, something that you want to experience with Lip. 

Before your anxiety can skyrocket, you feel Lip press up against your back. You also feel something else, way harder, push against your butt. You didn’t know that this tiny action would make you so horny. 

Lip’s finger traces down your forearms, his hot breath can be felt on your neck. His wet mouth kisses softly into the delicate skin, his electric touch jolting your body as a heavy gasp escapes your lips. Lip must be happy at the reaction as he chuckles into your skin. 

Lip spins you around in his arms, his hands landing back on the small of your back, inching slowly towards the top of your ass. Your pulse is thumping under your skin, in your chest as you stare into Lip’s enchanting eyes. You almost feel dizzy with it, the closeness, the endless possibilities of being here with him. 

This time, you take the first step, parting your lips slightly as you move towards him. But it only takes a second for Lip to reclaim his power over you.

At first the kiss is soft, his mouth barely there, hovering over yours, making you yearn for any sort of his touch. His lips brush against yours a second time, then he pushes himself into you deeper, slow and meaning at first, but the need to have you closer is beginning to overcome him. The aggressive part of him seeping through the cracks.

The warmth of his lips, the way his hands slide lower to the curve of your ass. You respond, instinctively, with your hands threading through the short hair at the back of his head, tugging him closer. The kiss is deepening quickly with an urgency that’s starting to become natural between you and Lip. 

Your heart is pounding so loud now, that you are sure that Lip can hear it too. The kiss, this moment is perfect. Being here, in Lip’s embrace is terrifying and exhilarating and everything that you have always craved. 

You melt into Lip as he begins to move the two of you to the bed in the middle of the room. His hands start to make quick work to pull your shirt over your head, which makes you break your kiss for just a brief moment before the two of you resume like nothing happened. His hands sliding their way around your back to unhook your bra, throwing the material in some unknown direction. Then he hooks his fingers in the waistband of your short skirt, yanking roughly to pull the material away. You step out of your sneakers and skirt, falling onto the bed as Lip pulls away.

You melt underneath his stare. His eyes scan your bare body as you inch yourself further onto the bed. You are beginning to feel exposed under his sharp gaze. One of your arms trails up the length of your body, trying to hide yourself but Lip tugs your hand away. Shaking his head.

“Perfect,” Lip whispers as his fingers brush against the bare skin, circling around your breast and nipple, up your neck and finally brushing against your jaw. Tilting your chin up to capture your lips in his as he climbs over your small body. 

Your breath hitches, back arching as you rub against Lip. The heavy kisses deepen slowly as Lip positions himself between your legs. Pressing his arching boner in your sweet core. One arm slipping underneath your back, while the other cups your breast. His fingers toying with your sensitive nipple as your moan radiates into Lip’s mouth. 

Your fingers slide up his neck, feeling the way his pulse skips underneath your touch, how his breath is shaky and uneven. Lip pulls you in even closer than before, and it’s this simple motion of closeness that sparks something more between the two of you, something that has been building long before the kiss on the dance floor, or his invitation during class. This spark has been developing from the small touches when he gets to class late and needs to sit in the seat next to you, or the small glances both of you steal when the other isn’t paying attention. 

The kiss deepens again, and this time it’s like a slow burning fire catching, spreading rapidly over your body. His lips move with yours in perfect rhythm, as if you’ve always known how to fit together. The taste of him is almost overwhelming at this moment. The weight of him over you grounds you to this earth, without it you would certainly be floating in the sky. 

After a moment, Lip pulls away again. Taking his time to soak you in, capturing every detail to his memory. His fingers scrolling around your chest and stomach, the cold tips tinkling you as he memorizes the feeling of your skin. 

When his hands leave your body, your sigh. Watching as he rips his shirt over his head while scooting backwards off the bed. His eyes watch you as his hands work quickly to unlace his belt and unbutton his pants before stripping them away. 

Before he pulls down his boxers, a moment of pause blankets the room, “You’re sure you want to do this, northside?” The nickname is surely a tease that does make you hot underneath his stare. 

You shake your head yes before Lip slips his thumbs under his waistband to pull off his boxers. And you were not expecting him to be so big when the fabric is released, pooling around his ankles.

You have little time to process his throbbing erection when he starts to climb on top of you again. Your eyes stare as his penis starts to bob against his stomach. 

“I need to hear you say it.” His fingers lift your chin towards his face, your eyes are the last thing to reach him, wide and doe-like, as your mind is running wild with impure fantasies. 

“I really,” you gulp, “really want to do this.”

“Good,” the devilish smile returns to his face. 

In one swift movement, Lip reaches to push the back of your legs towards your stomach, opening your center wide for him. The lace fabric of your panties barely does anything to cover up your core. You turn your face to the side, a heat beginning to rise in your cheeks as your pussy and ass are exposed for Lip. 

“Don’t look away,” His hands squeeze the back of your thighs to grab your attention. Your head whips back to him quickly as you watch his fingers start to move towards your center. Your hands gripping the soft fabric beneath you, hoping it will help stable you in this moment.

You bite your bottom lip as his middle finger lightly grazes over the thin fabric, the small touch shooting pure electricity through your body. You never knew you could feel this kind of way from someone’s touch before. 

Lip allows you to catch your breath before moving on, his middle finger passing over the same spot as before but this time with more pressure. And with more pressure from his finger means more sparks shooting through your body and a whine escaping from your lips. 

Lip smiles down at you in satisfaction. He starts to move his finger in small circles around your covered clit, your breath heaving through the pleasure. Your face contorting as he picks up speed, his other hand still gripping the back on your thigh to keep you in the place. 

After he is satisfied with how you are wiggling underneath his touch, he slips his pointer finger under the fabric to expose your heat. He licks his lips while taking in the sight of your perfect pussy, your juices leaking from your folds as the same finger grazes over the bare skin. 

The feeling is more intense than before, times a million. And you can’t help but shift underneath his touch but he holds firm on your thigh and keeps you steady on his lap. You couldn’t go anywhere if you tried hard enough. And it wasn’t like you wanted too but the feeling is just so overwhelming that you don’t know what else to do other than to try to move away. 

Lip begins circling your clit again, this time using his thumb. The vibration running through your body makes you arch your back and moan his name with pleasure. You are pure happiness right now.

He then moves his thumb further down your folds until he hovers over your entrance. Your juices coat the tip of his finger before he dips into you. The moan that erupts from you is no longer quiet but a loud arch that comes from the deepest part of you as Lip inserts a part of himself into your pussy. 

His finger moves faster inside of you, his thumb sooner replaced by his other hand's pointer finger. Pumping mercifully in and out of your entrance, sending shock waves through your whole body. His thumb resumes its place on your clit, the combination is ruthless as he makes you feel an unimaginable amount of pleasure.

Moans, whines, whispers of profanities leaving your lips in waves as he continues to fulfill your wildest wishes and add another finger which intensifies everything. Pumping faster and rubbing quicker as your body locks underneath his grasp. Chest heaving rapidly as you release yourself onto his long fingers. White spots cloud your vision as your breath slows down and Lip pulls his fingers out of you. 

Your hand wipes away sweat from your forehead as you meet Lip's gaze after your moment of ecstasy. A nervous smile dances across your face as you meet his eyes. You are quickly reassured of yourself when a wide, teeth-fill smile is staring back down at you. Lip is visibly delighted with how well he can make you cum.

He leans back on his heels, his throbbing erection leaking precum down his shaft. Your eyes dart from his to his bouncing member, licking your lips in the process.

Lip leans over you, to one of the bedside tables to open a drawer, digging around to find a condom. He leans back again, ripping the condom wrapping with his teeth and wrapping himself in the plastic.

He leans down to capture your lips after being away from them for too long. A moan from him vibrates your whole body as he wraps his arms around you, his finger twisting in the strands of your hair, holding you tightly as he slowly pushes his thick member between your folders.

Your legs spread further apart to accommodate his size. Your head burying in the nape of his neck as slides all the way into you. The burning sensation is pleasurable as he lets your breath slightly relax before beginning to pump. His hips moving rapidly between your legs, hitting your sweet spot with each thrust. 

His tongue trails over the sweet spot under your jaw, biting and sucking as his mouth makes its way yours. You part your lips as he catches them, slipping his tongue into your mouth. The warm muscle sweeping around yours, dancing, fighting for dominance as the heat of pleasure engulfs the both of you. 

A groan vibrates against you, his hips buckling with each thrust as they become sloppier with each passing second. Pure bliss wrapping around your body as Lip pounds into you, over and over again. His hard muscles hold you still as he uses your body for pure pleasure. 

As his groans and grunts become more frequent and his thrusting becomes messier, the speed in which he pounds into you quickens. Releasing you from the sloppy kiss, his forehead against yours as you stare into each other's eyes.

His pupils dilate as they meet yours, breathes hitching in the shared space. His thrust even out as he releases himself into you. Your moans erupt on his hot kiss with his last hard drives of his hips.

He kisses your lips one last time, holding for just a second longer than needed, before getting up off the bed. He leaves the room for a couple of seconds to get a towel from the on-suite bathroom and discard the used condom. 

You have to give yourself a little moment to come back down to earth after that extraordinary moment that you just shared with Lip. Pushing yourself to the top of the bed as Lip comes over to clean you up. He tosses the towel aside when it is no longer needed and opens the blanket for you to climb underneath.

He slips into the covers with you, pulling you into his body. 

“I told you it would be fun.” He teases, kissing the top of your head as you snuggle into his chest. But you knew, as you drift off to sleep, that your dreams will never live up to this reality. 

~~~~

Let me know what you think!! Appreciate all of you so much. <3

[sinfulsalutations]

the bad batch irl headcanons: brainrot edition.

hunter

watches the boys, breaking bad, and basically anything with jk simmons in it

his top artist on his spotify wrapped was lana del rey and has been lana for 3 years straight

listens to self help audiobooks and true crime podcasts

stopped posting on tiktok because 30 year old moms kept commenting weird freaky shit

makes capcut template edits of himself

snap score is in the millions; his parents were confused on the questionnaire and instead ordered a thot son

tech

listens to playboi carti, earl sweatshirt, and ken carson. below them is classical music

never beats the “erm, actually” allegations. his friends turned him into a nerd sticker to use in conversations

reddit WARRIOR. his karma score is in the millions. he posts, no matter what, every two hours (schedules the posts if needed to). most active in the subreddits r/techtips and r/javascript

obeys the traffic laws in gta but if a pedestrian says some shit like “hey watch where you’re going asshole” he is CLOCKING that mfer

plays swipe games on tiktok religiously and will change his answers to fit better with the “lore”

watches jujutsu kaisen, has a tiktok collection dedicated entirely to gojo edits. despite that, maki is his favorite character

wrecker

his entire tiktok for you page consists of workout videos and cute animals

did the trend of tying a bow on the bicep and breaking it while he flexes

doesn’t know how to take photos of himself; watches tutorials on every social media he can find but still can’t figure it out

listens to bad bitch music. beyoncé, megan thee stallion, tinashe, doja cat, glorilla, nicki minaj, all that stuff.

comments “looked at my girl and smiled because she’s perfect” on a hot girls post

says “what the dog doin” all the time. all. the. time.

crosshair

serves cunt; serves all of the cunt

a back arching straight man; ur gay tote-bag carrying boyfriend

almost all his friends are lesbians. they take him to the queer/sapphic clubs and the chappel roan concerts

comments “why no one hating” on the most INNOCENT and PURE videos just to start arguments

is a biker boy but hates the whole “biker tok” stereotype and so he doesn’t go out on the bike anymore out of fear of being recorded without his consent

instagram notes is his main form of communication; he is an olympic ghoster

echo

his vocabulary contains “skibidi” “what the sigma” and “gyatt”

his most used “social medias,” in order, are pinterest, whatsapp, and tiktok

worked at a waffle house before he got fired for starting a fight

kpop fan. stans newjeans, tomorrow x together, and le sserrafim

the definition of “female rage”; also, indeed, serves cunt. not as much as crosshair, but serves cunt nonetheless.

has 13 daily hours of screen time. what is he doing for those hours? fuck if i know. fuck if he knows. fuck if his PHONE knows. (in reality, he leaves youtube videos playing all night and doesn’t even realize it)

[yawarakaizai]

I LOVE YOUR AESTHETIC SM!!

i was thinking..

gn doll reader with nikolai.. i feel like he’s obsessed with dolls (bj dolls/porcelain dolls) he’d treat you delicately and.. ahh.. i need HIM. CARNALLY.

ⵌ THIS LITTLE WORLD IS YOURS TONIGHT

SENDER Doll ! Reader (GN) RECIPITENT Nikolai Gogol (BSD) CONTENTS He took the utmost care of you, treating you how he believed you should be treated. He loved every part of you, and that included your feisty temper, even when he was so nice and caring towards you. NOTE bratty reader, pet-names, usage of 'daddy', possessiveness, suggestive content, genitalia mentioned (or rather lack thereof), mentions of fyodor + sigma, size difference, reader is a ball-jointed doll, non-sexual nudity, rich nikolai lolol, spoiled reader, mentions of punishments/implied punishments (spanking), feminine clothing (dresses) COMPANY Smarty

A/N hii ano n! tys m f or your req (>///<) nikolai is one of m y fav es actu al ly, , hes s o swe et , craz y and aa aa a <3 i hop e you enjoy this small fic! !! it was f un t o write ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱ i th iink nikolai would be s o silly w/ a re ader who' s a dol l !! he'd p air well w ith a br att y doll .. s o here 's th is !! \(^///^)/

" Noo! I don't wanna! "

Your whine was met with an exaggerated sigh of mock-sadness.

" Oh, but please! You'll look utterly adorable in this! "

One thing about you was that once your mind was made up, there was no way of convincing you otherwise. It was always your way. At least .. usually.

" Don't wanna means I don't wanna. "

You stood in the middle of the room nude, your hands placed on your hips, your head turned to the side away from the man knelt on the floor before you with his pleading eyes, a white gown bunched up in his hands.

Stubborn is what you were. And goodness, did Nikolai not love and hate it at the same time.

You were his sweet, spoiled doll. He wouldn't want it any other way.

" Ya know I love you best when you're behaved, doll. " He was dumb to think you'd relent your attitude so easily. Nikolai was being soft today, thankfully. On a hard day, he would've had you crying out bent over his knee promising to be a good doll next time.

Peeking from your shut eyes, your glass eyes stared curiously and intently on the dress he insisted to hell and back you should try out.

Frilly, short and virgin white - like every other garment he'd buy for you.

You most certainly are appreciative to have such a generous daddy. One who'd adorn you in only the best of dresses and accessories, showing you off to all who'd have the misfortune of coming across Nikolai.

He'd boast about how lucky he is to have you, with you shyly hiding behind his large stature, your fist gripping onto the hems of his shirt for your own comfort. You were timid around others that weren't your daddy. You'd shrink at compliments from others and cling to Nikolai; afraid to lose him.

Nikolai adored you for how bold you were with him. No matter the façade of a pure, innocent angel you'd display to all - he knew just what you were in private.

" Fine. But only this dress. Otherwise, I'll go straight to Dostoy and tell on you! "

" Yes! Yes, oh, how sweet you are! "

Standing up to his feet, he immediately began to tie the matching garter to your porcelain thigh, tightening it enough to ensure it wouldn't slip off.

" You'll look beautiful. I could not rid the thought of you wearing it from my mind. " He rambled on, guiding your head through the many frills of the dress, pulling your arms into the sleeves and smoothing out any wrinkles in the fabric.

You found it to be too short, as you'd find when you'd spin around the dress would ride up with the air and thus exposing the area humans considered intimate.

Although you possessed no genitals, Nikolai still found your body erotic.

" It's too short. " You'd protest, to which he'd reply, " It's perfect. "

It could be said Nikolai found you aesthetically pleasing to look at, as many would come to agree. Even Dostoy - as you'd call him - began to take a keen interest in you, requesting for your co-operation in being his muse for a while.

He had painted a lovely portrait of you. One you kept in an expensive gold frame, hung over your prized vanity table.

You did not pry too much into your daddy's life, and that included his relations with Dostoy. All you knew was that Dostoy was above the other, and the two had mutual respect for one another.

" Can you sit still for me, doll? Need't put these on ya. "

Nikolai rummaged through the many shopping bags he had hauled into your room, not expecting to have caught you during your brattish hours.

Nodding in silence, you allowed him to clip bows and pearls to your soft hair, having to kneel down to properly align everything perfectly and just the way he wanted them to be.

By the time he was done, you could feel the weight on your head having increased from how over-the-top he had gone.

" Daddy.. "

You huffed, puckering your red lips childishly.

" You look elegant, I promise you. "

Placing his hand on the lower end of your back, he carefully guided you towards your full-body mirror hanging adjacent from your large wardrobe.

Studying your reflection, you stared up at his grinning face. " You look dumb. " You remarked, continuing to twist and twirl. It wasn't that bad.

" I knew it'd be perfect, " He creeped behind you, wrapping his arms around your hips with his head resting atop of yours, " ya gonna thank your daddy for bein' so kind and sweet, aren't ya doll? " He murmured, lightly letting some of his heavy weight loosen on you, immediately making you yell out to him.

" Hey! Watch it! Daddy! Too heavy! "

You did your best to support him as he only laughed over you, " Catch me, catch me, doll! " he joked around, threatening to faint at any second, soaking in your desperate attempts at hoisting him back up.

In one fell swoop, he swept you off your feet over his shoulder, in the process, accidentally letting a stray bow come undone, falling to the floor below.

" Gonna go parade ya to Sigma. "

He praised, hand straying up your skirt and onto your bottom, in response you immediately whacked his back, stifling an "ow!" as your delicate hand forgot how tough he was, especially his upper body.

" Think he'll get mad when he realises I spent his money on all this? "

" Daddy! "

©yawarakaizai 2023 ﹒﹒ reblogs appreciated! requests open :3 it s 4am . ... @.@

[night-dazai]

Hi there. I just read "Beautifully Destroyed" and it was so good! I really like your writing style..

I'm interested in requesting a Fyodor x reader fic, with some religious themes, where they're having their first time together and he's starts out soft and vanilla but slowly gets rougher and more aggressive as he keeps going.

Please feel free to ignore if this makes you uncomfortable. Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language

and thank you for your time.🍓✨️

Falling for you

Hey, it was such a lovely request while writing this I just realized that I really love writing and reading stuff where the reader is a virgin. And plus thank you so much, I am honoured that you enjoyed my previous work. Thank you любовь💕💕💕

Tags: reader virgin, rough sex, mentions of little blood, female reader, manipulation but sweet aftercare.

Also thanks to @inconspisheadreams for helping me proofread this, but if there are still any mistakes found do let me know. ❤️

When you first explain to your friends what your type is, add all the details on appearance and personality. little did you know that you were just subconsciously attracted to Russian men. More especially religious Russian men, meeting Fydor was a complete accident no it was a destined meeting, something you humans could not control. 

Little did you know that it was all planned from the first time the Russian saw you at the club, sitting in the corner with a tissue covering your drink? Innocence is seen in your bright eyes and clumsy behaviour, running to your friends when a guy hits on you “Please I said I am not interested, “ you would mumble holding your friend's dress as they told the dude to back off. 

The moment he saw you he knew he would protect you, and also make sure to create a world where you won't be bothered by such things and your innocence can be safe, slowly making accidents for you two meet in cafes and book shops you frequent. The way your eyes widened at his appearance, you were not very short but the little height difference was something Fydor found very cute. 

After a whole year of careful manipulation, he had you become his girlfriend “Fyda …” you started out fidgeting with your top “ что за проблемная принцесса? “ (what's the prob princess ?” ) his voice so gentle rough big hands holding yours. “I…..I always wanted to lose my virginity after marriage “, you said blushing just at the word. 

He was not surprised but kind of, he did expect you to be inexperienced with the way you reacted to his advances but still, the fact that no man has ever touched you made his blood rise “You have not even kissed хомяк ?” (hamster).

His hands traced gently on your bottom lip which quivered under the rough skin contact “ Y...yeah “ you said nodding your head. The black Russian made a note “Marriage, first night “, and from that day on your extremely peaceful life started. 

College got over you got the job at the place you always wanted, Fydor was busy working and you never bothered to ask what it was “ Fyoo!” you exclaimed running into your shared house and thinking about the message you got from him “What-” you words stopped short. Fydor was in the most beautiful white suit you have seen his long hair loose eyes sparkling, on one knee he opened the box “Will you, хомяк ?” (hamster ). You could not control the tears “Yeah!” you nodded and leaped into his arms.

The wedding was short with close friends and people you guys wanted, with Sigma and Nikolai right next to your husband, who was a bit too eager to get his hands on your pure body. 

“What will he think? will he like me? He told me it's fine so it must be right ?” you thought pacing in the bathroom and looking at your reflection. Dressed in a full white gown you stood, the neck was a bit deep and the soft silk showed your curves very lustrously.

Glamping down the lump in your neck you walked out to your bed sat in the corner and waited for your husband. 

Fydor walked into the room, and his proper eyes caught you sitting on the edge of the bed playing with your dress.“Love”,  he said walking towards you. Raising your head you see him all angelic in white “According to the rules of a married couple we must make sure we are married .” his hands roamed your exposed neck as he took a seat next to you “And do you know what that means right ? I will be touching you in very intimate place “ his voice had the same gentle tone but something in it made you shiver. All you could do was nod your head, his lips crashed on yours, soft plump. The kiss was a bit rough is what you felt, it was not the same way he kissed you in front of everyone. 

His rough hands roamed your body and his weight pressed down on you, in all the years of your dating you guys never did anything and even if you slept in the same bed the max was his hands on your waist but now it held a firm grip, unlike his fragile appearance. 

Your head hit the white pillows “I am removing the clothes “, he said sitting back on his heels to remove his shirt, all you could do was sit back and admire the view in front of you “So hungry хомяк “ he teased not removing his pants “ your turn “ he said and moved the dress up your head dropping the only piece of clothing you had. 

Your hands instinctively went to cover your chest “Don't hide dear “, he said moving your hands to admire the view, “ only I can see and feel this “ he thought and gently massaged your breasts. 

It felt weird, you were not sure if that was the feeling of lust but your legs rubbed instinctively “It's soft love “ he mumbled face nuzzling against your neck leaving hot wet kisses down your inner jaw from your neck to your chest while gently holding and twisting your nipples.

Weird noises left your mouth no matter how hard you tried to hold them in it did not work, Fydor’s leg between yours made you feel even weirder you felt scared “Fyda…” you mumbled trying to hold his shoulders “ Fyda..” you said a bit louder making his stop his actions. 

“It feels weird “ you said with wet eyes lashes wet, face red you covered your chest again. 

He wanted to go slow, yes he did, slow and make sure you enjoyed it, he did not want to force you so much that after the first year, he stopped all his tricks thus, the mastermind criminal fell in love. But how can he stop when you lay under him all naked crying just from a few kisses? like not even his fingers but a few kisses, he could not stop and he would not. 

Kissing your forehead he leaned in “Love, it's alright you will soon learn that this is pleasure “ he said moving your hands again but this time his place fingers slithered down to your wet core. 

That feeling you felt when his hands touched your slit, you realized that whatever this person was going to do to you would surely be nothing but pleasurable. You opened your legs a little bit earning a chuckle from your husband “Good хомяк “ he said moving his head down and licking the little hard bud. 

Shots of current and pleasure moved through your body “Fyda…” you moved his name like a chant holding the sheets like it was your lifeline you let the Russian lick and suck all he wanted and for heaven's sake, it felt soo good, it felt heavenly. 

Suddenly you felt a knot in your stomach “ mov..move” you said trying to push his head, it felt like you were going to pee you struggled to move his head but it was too late. Fydor just sat next to your cunt as your squirted for the time in your life, your body shook and trembled in the effect “No..” you sobbed thinking the bad. 

But Fydor was quick to come up to your face and kiss your eyes “It is not what you think, this means I did a good job, you felt good right ?” he asked making you peek at him from your fingers which hid your face ” Yeah “. 

“ The next things will feel even better “ he said slithering to your hole and slipping in, and you could have never wished for anything better. After making sure you had cum twice on his fingers alone he decided that you were ready. 

Removing his pants he let him free, your eyes widened seeing a dick for the first time in real life “It's fine nothing to be scared of it will soon feel good “ he said and pressed the tip at your opening. 

As he entered slowly the pain shot right up your abdomen to your spin and felt like your neck was full your body was getting split into half, hot tears fell on the white already stained pillow, you held on to his arms digging your nails in them. 

The blood was visible on his dick mixed with your juices and cum, it was a dizzy feeling “Was I supposed to go soft? She can take it right ?” he thought pulling his dick out and in with every slow movement seeing the bloody shaft vanish and reappearance. The promise of going slow and not wanting to hurt your innocence all left his mind “I will be one and teach you everything “ his mind went a bit too blank for your good. 

With a sudden thrust, he pushed his full length in making you whimper and hold his arms tighter feeling the burning pain, his thrusts did not stop Pace rough hands holding your hands down making sure you were not squirming or moving as he moved in and out of your bloody cunt. 

“Slo..slow down “ you moaned pain slowly fading and something new settling in, it was weird but felt weirdly nice and …full. Fydor threw his head back and kept moving at his own pace as your words and please fell on deaf ears, he was busy chasing his high in your tight cunt which was almost suffocating him. 

It was not long before you held his hands tighter shouting you were cumming soon he followed. “phew …” Fydor moved his hair back opening his purple eyes to look at your fucked out face, it was not that he did not hear, he did not want to hear. Your pleading voice was music for him, your little grip was like a peck on his hands, and your tears turned him only more. Pulling out he let his cum mixed with your flow out of your cunt as you lay there twitching. 

The white bed stained with drool, tears, sweat and cum look beautiful with the tiny drops of your blood which were mixed with your cum “ хомяк ?” he asked. Getting his rational mind back Fydor realised his actions “You could not even handle a simple pinch and would yelp shit !” he thought and moved your hair from your face “You alright ? I am sorry love “ he said soothing and kissing your checks. 

“Yeah… it hurt but…later felt nice..” you yawned sleep and tiredness taking over your exhausted body you pulled him with the only strength you and he let you “It's fine …sleep,” you said closing your eyes and holding his neck. 

Never in all his life did a man like him expect to meet someone like you and have you to himself “Sleep хомяк you did so good for me “ he said. Not sleeping you moaned answering him “I…я тебя люблю “(I love you ) you mumbled and went into slumber your body relaxing against his chest as his eyes widened in surprise. 

Did you learn Russian for him? A genuine smile formed on his thin lips “Good night and я тебя люблю “ he said getting up cleaning you hugging your naked body and drifting into the best slumber he had in his entire life. 

[anti-dazai-blog]

miniseries -- BSD Characters as Musicals

part 1 -- ADA part 2 -- PM part 3 -- Guild

*standard disclaimer that this isn't meant to be taken too seriously

Part 4 -- DOA + Hunting Dogs

Fyodor -- Death Note

why? -- My guy's really out here saying "I am crime and I am punishment." My guy really thinks he's justice incarnate.

anyway go listen to Death Note the Musical

---

Bram -- Sunset Blvd.

why? -- purely for the amount he doesn't wanna be here. He is 100% being held against his will.

---

Gogol -- Jekyll & Hyde

why? -- do I have to say. Is there anything to say. 'I'm perfectly sane!! ... OR AM I??'

for the record book Jekyll isn't an innocent victim, he did this to himself intentionally to have an excuse to indulge in his undisclosed 'vices'. Anyway the musical's alright but go read the book, it's super short you could finish it in one or two sittings for sure

---

Sigma -- Anastasia

why? -- someone looking for identity and family. obviously very Sigma-coded.

---

Fukuchi -- Harmony

why? -- the political struggle. This guy tries so hard and picks the wrong side anyway. Fukuchi 🤝 Bobby who was like "let's go back to Germany, surely the politics can't get any worse :("

guy please. you're trying so hard but your politics are so bad.

---

Teruko -- Twisted

why? -- it's really "I love working here :D" "wait.... wait oh no D:"

so sorry your workplace turned out to be not so great :(

sorry you had to turn against your boss who you previously looked up to and respected :(

---

Jouno -- Phantom of the Opera

why? -- same as Teruko, so sorry your mentor who you loved and respected turned out to be a bad guy. sorry things turned out this way my guy, you did your best though o7

---

Tetcho -- Lizzie

why? -- ok wait did you know that there's a Lizzie Borden musical. Did you know that. It's important that you know that.

I think the classic literature side of tumblr needs to be informed that there's a rock lesbian Lizzie Borden musical. I know that's a combination of words you've never heard before. You're welcome.

anyway. A combination of his willingness to kill and whatever he's got going on with Jouno.

and I do believe that, like Tanizaki, he's on the verge of snapping.

---

part 5 and 6 coming later this week I hope. There will only be two more parts I think

[livelaughlovesubs]

Bro I NEED Sigma crying so bad

Oh god same, he’d look so pretty crying, bawling his eyes out. He’s got that innocent and pure vibe when he cried, Yk? So adorable, that you want to ruin him

[theonlyqualitytrash]

—I am continuing as I said.

You're my spirit animal. You get it. You really do! It's like our minds are in sync. I can feel a genetic connection.

For me, it clicked in my head the moment when Fyodor looked down at Atsushi in pure disgust, anger, and disappointment when Atsushi desperately begged him to save his friend's life. I think in that moment Fyodor saw himself in Atsushi - the man he once was - that innocence. He was reminded of the humanity he had lost over time - the same helplessness he had once experienced, the emotions so vulnerable that it caused him to lose everything (perhaps the first time he discovered his ability). I just know that that man will have the most tragic backstory imaginable and that I will bawl my eyes out. Slowly forgetting who you used to be, your family, your friends...watching everyone you love die…being condemned to centuries of loneliness because of an ability that's more of a curse than a gift...and the fact that he is deep down craving to bond with someone. I can’t even imagine how dehumanizing all of this must have been for him. To be betrayed and murdered over and over again, to witness all the horrible events throughout history... I am honestly worried about his sanity. Can we blame him for what he wants to achieve? I wish I could give him a big hug. 😞

I'm so angry at the anime for taking away those silly moments that showed Fyodor's remaining humanity and replacing them with serious scenes. They really disliked him, huh? By the way, agree with you. It is shallow to say being cold and calculating is all he is because his character is much, much more complex than that. I think his coldness and calculating are acquired traits. I find him to be one of the most mischaracterized characters by the fandom, and I think it's because most people don't actually care about the actual plot. They just want their favorite ships and characters to be the center of focus all the time so badly that they don't stop for one second to think and just complain about everything. Like okay, I get it, I want to see my favorite side characters too, but they are not relevant to the unfolding story right now. It wouldn't make any sense to suddenly show them like a commercial break while Atsushi is in a dangerous situation and being repeatedly traumatized. ���️ Plus I feel like this kind of behavior is very disrespectful to Asagiri-sensei, to Harukawa-sensei, and to the work and the effort of everyone who has been working on this manga. I mean, no one is forcing them to read. 🤷‍♀️

I do not understand how some people don't like the recent chapters or the direction in which the story is going. Yes, it's a bit confusing sometimes, but I think that's the reason why this manga has become much more intriguing than ever before. Because it makes you think about every little thing. Asagiri-sensei is COOKING.

Finally, all the spotlight is on our main character Atsushi, and our main anti-villain Fyodor. I'm excited to see how things will take a turn. I think it's a good thing that there won't be any new chapters until February, it will give the fandom time to digest all the new information (and deaths 😭).

And now that Fukuzawa is gone too, Atsushi can either go berserk and lose control of Byakko, fighting with everything he has, and possibly manage to do some damage, but Fyodor would still be able to escape or he’d try to join him for the sake of getting the page from Fyodor (though I doubt Fyodor wouldn't have figured such a thing out the moment he tries to, but still). So, I don't think Atsushi will succumb to despair yet (but the concept would be very interesting to watch tho). That page is still a source of hope for him. (Plus the living members)

(I don't know about Viego but I LOVE Snape and the Undertaker as well. Heavy on the Undertaker, by the way.)

AND FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO LOVES MY BOI ATSUSHI FOR HE IS ONE OF MY FAVES TOO. I also really like Kyōka, Nikolai, Lucy, Dazai, Sigma, Ryūnosuke, Chūya, Aya, Higuchi, and Oda…

(proceeds to list almost the whole cast 💀)

But of course, despite all the above, there is only one person who 24/7 occupies both my mind and my heart... - Fyodor.

I'm afraid I'm too loyal. Even with fictional characters.

The message you wrote at the end of your answer means a lot to me, thank you. 🤍🌸🌺 Likewise, please try to take care of yourself and be sure to listen to your own advice too! I've never heard of holding an ice cube in your hands to calm down before, but I'm going to try it if I ever feel overwhelmed. I'm sure it will work as it's funny to even think about doing it. 😭

I loved reading all of your thoughts; it’s so refreshing to see someone else get equally excited about the same things I do! We can just geek out and deep dive without restraint, and that’s what I find niche about the internet—screaming into the void and having people scream at you back :))

I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. You’ve voiced my thoughts exactly! Although I understand why they cut certain scenes from the anime (animating is tedious, after all 😞), it still hurts because those moments were so important to Fyodor’s character and how people perceive him. No joke, I have a word document where I’ve listed all the times Fyodor smiles or shows any emotion—and spoiler alert, it’s a lot more than the anime lets on.

"I find him to be one of the most mischaracterized characters by the fandom"—THIS! Popular characters get mischaracterized the most because of their success. Fyodor’s definitely fallen into that category, and along with him, Chuya, Dazai, Poe, and Sigma have suffered the same fate. I think it ties into the shipping problem you mentioned: I’m not an avid shipper myself, but I understand it as a creative outlet. The issue arises when fanon (born from ships) starts overwriting the canon version of characters. It can be really frustrating when you just want to see a character explored more deeply without stripping them of their core traits. But, at the end of the day, I can’t blame anyone for enjoying what they do.

Regarding the recent chapters: I think a lot of people don’t like them simply because they don’t understand them—and that’s okay! Our community spans a wide range of ages, but most of the fandom is middle-to-older teens, and that poses a problem when you’re dealing with a seinen manga which is meant for an older audience; while the anime, being more accessible, appeals to a younger crowd. The recent chapters have been chaotic and packed with info, and casually dropping quantum physics? As someone who loves learning new stuff, I’m all for it! Asagiri does a great job of explaining it in a way that’s digestible, but I know it’s a lot to take in for some. (Anyway I will have Fyodor mansplain everything to me please)

As for Atsushi, I also don’t think he’s going to succumb to despair. He’s a tough cookie, and we saw that at the end of Season 5 when the anime was hinting at the fight with Amenogozen. Also after Tanizaki's death, I think people started to realize that all this suffering is just pushing Atsushi to grow. It’s painful to watch, but it’s necessary for his character development. I’m also really curious to see how Fukuzawa’s death will affect both Atsushi and Kyōka. (I have a feeling Lucy will play a role with the phone)

Gosh my heart aches while thinking of irl Dostoevsky's works and how they all somehow have the overarching theme that love changes, people can be reborn and redeemed: so I am holding onto the thread that maybe, just maybe-very cliche I know-the power of love will save Fyodor. That perhaps Atsushi has the power to make Fyodor redeem himself. But sadly he seems resigned to his role as the solitary genius who need to cleanse the world of people like himself.

don't mind me sobbing about his character again

Some other things I want to lightly touch on:

Undertaker is THE goat in Kuroshitsuji (I loved the new season, also we are getting the emerald which act in 2025???? Crazy. I remembered when I first read the manga in 2017)

As silly as it sounds the ice cube trick works because our brains register the cold stimuli and it stops releasing cortisol and other stress inducing hormones! It is a neat life hack indeed :>

---

Discussions like these really spark joy in my heart :)) Please take care while out there <3

Kisses and good vibes, Q

[lnkedmyheart]

When I say that Dazai's relationship with Chuuya and Atsushi are the only ones not rife with core misunderstanding of each other and messy then what?

Like Atsushi is fine with Dazai keeping secrets and whole heartedly trusts Dazai while not idolizing him as a person. Acknowledging that Dazai has a shitty past and still sees the good in him.

Chuuya's major misunderstanding with Dazai happened all the way back in stormbringer and even then it was Chuuya projecting on Dazai and being fully aware that he was projecting on Dazai. And since then he has tried to point out the actual more humane side of Dazai's behaviour (which imo is messy af on Chuuya's part) once again looking towards the more human part of Dazai and his seemingly heartless actions. The only thing left is light banter (which modern purity obsessed fans think is verbal abuse) and the occasional trolling. The most important thing is that they see each other as human beings with flaws and positive traits removing any idolization there.

And from Dazai's end, while he does try to be more sincere towards people now (to some extent) Atsushi is the only one who doesn't need him to be super sincere and understands why he might not be fully open. While Chuuya doesn't need him to be sincere because he has experienced Dazai's sincerity hidden under layers of fake bravado and manipulation. Chuuya gets that Dazai is a little fucked in the head and does things for Chuuya and Oda and the ADA in ways that don't seem moral to a regular person.

None of Dazai's other surviving relationships have that level of clarity and understanding. Yes he gets along with Kunikida but there is major misunderstanding and clash there, way too many secrets and a core inability to fully come to terms with each other because of how far apart their morality is (no Kunikida isn't pure and innocent but still). Dazai and Sigma's entire dynamic is built on the desperation of keeping someone alive for a promise and surviving at all costs and Dazai's only moment of genuine sincerity had been in the elevator. Dazai and Ango have a very bitter relationship because of what happened to Oda where they both blame each other (yes I know Dazai lowkey also holds Ango responsible, rightfully so, but he does hold himself responsible too). Even with Oda there was a core misunderstanding on both ends that while not problematic is a major misunderstanding. Dazai idolized Oda as this perfect being far removed from all things tainted by the mafia when Oda was just a traumatized young adult, barely 22 at that. Like he was so young. And then Oda constantly put the distance of their status between them refusing to ask Dazai for aid when he desperately needed it and constantly flip flopping between calling Dazai a child stuck in a bad place and thinking he was born to be in the mafia. It doesn't help that Dazai misunderstood Oda's final words so badly (then again that poor man was at death's door, he didn't exactly have time to sit him down and explain).

I also think Dazai and Ranpo can have that dynamic where they are on the same level as Atsushi and Chuuya with Dazai but how much of that would be Dazai being sincere with him vs how much Ranpo found out against Dazai's wishes?

And even with just how much Chuuya understands and accepts about Dazai, Chuuya did project on him back in sb. Chuuya's initial hatred for Dazai stemmed from his fear of becoming callous and heartless like him before he realised that Dazai isnt any of that in sb after finding out that Dazai did everything to get his hands on the documents for Chuuya and the offer to change his plan for Chuuya's humanity. But Atsushi never once projected on him.

Atsushi is the best thing that happened to Dazai for his mental state, and imo Atsushi is the one who will ultimately be the reason Dazai's perception of himself changes completely.

[mrsrookhunt]

Hello ! can you please do One shot for Yan!sigma with s/o who runaway from him ?

If this idea is not good, just reject it, thanks!

Yan!Sigma x Reader

Midnight Rendezvous

--------------------------------------

You didn't specify how dark you wanted this to get or anything like sfw or nsfw so I just went with the direction it took, which came out very dark, so I'm sorry if you didn't want that. I love your idea by the way!

Warnings: 18+, Gun violence, implied character deaths, implied past harm/abuse, yandere themes, implied Stockholm syndrome

Why did you run?

Why did you?

You weren't quite sure you understood your own motives, and he sure didn't either.

You were so well cared for. Everything, from the smallest want to big expenses was provided for you, all wrapped up in a big bow in the name of Sigma's love.

Love.

Yes, that fickle thing that drives him crazy. You don't love him, and he knows that. It drives him so insane. How is he supposed to make you love him, when all his "gifts", all the things he does for you, are so unappreciated?

Just tonight, he'd found you, running down the side of the road and waving down a car-- his car- for help. He saw it all- you weren't looking for him-- the way your face dropped, your complexion paling, the way your already red eyes filled with tears.

There was no emergency the way you'd tried to tell him, no animal in the building, no scary pest in the corner; he didn't even bother to look. Why would he? You were using him. Using him, lying to him, keeping your love from him out of pure spite. He knew. He didn't even have to look you in the eyes to know that the look you gave him was one less of fear and more of brutal hatred.

You had long stopped fearing him. Let you death come, and let it come swiftly if you disobey, you had begged him one evening when he sliced the soft skin on your chest, pale and shaking like a leaf, as a weakly acted upon warning to be obedient to him. Obedience. What a funny word. That incident was a year past now, and obediently, like a good dog, you'd learned to do whatever he asked of you. Cook dinner, clean the house, fill the hummingbird feeder every week, then come inside and lock the door behind you and give him the key.

This time would be no different. For a year, you had been his good dog, never disobeying, always heeding his instructions with the utmost care of a broken shell of a person walking on eggshells miraculously thinner than the one's you'd come to be made out of.

And then you heard it. There it was, that scream of anguish echoing down the steps of your tiny, two bedroom house, the sounds of a broken man, one who gave everything, God willing, to you, cracking and shattering like all the eggshells had just been crushed, crushed by your false devotion, crushed by his heavy hand, which would certainly come down on you later.

For a moment, you don't think when you hear the click of the gun barrel snapping into place. You don't move. The question is, is the bullet coming for you, or will he put it to his own head?

The trigger must be burning his finger, he who has not decided who God's reckoning will bear down on yet. All he is sure of is that someone must face retribution tonight.

Carefully, he loads a second bullet. Too soft, you'd never hear it.

One step, two steps, three steps, four steps. He's padding down the stairs, little bedside pistol he always kept in hand, pointed at himself.

"Me or you?" He asks flatly, eyes dead and dull.

You cannot live this life without him, that routine existence interspersed with brutality you could not recover from.

He cannot live this life without you, who burns his heart like the scorn of the sun.

"Both." You whisper, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

One last look. One last look into your accursed lover's eyes, equally tearful as he points the gun at you, no longer shaking with innocent fear.

There is no goodbye, no words of reassurance.

Just the silence of impending death.

Bang!

Bang!

[myfandomhalf]

Season Finale

Sick and tired of reading about people say that Dazai knowing about the plan beforehand somehow takes away from the genuineness of the skk moments

You mean you WANT Dazai to choose to kill Chuuya for the greater good and then not give a shit immediately after?? Ignoring the speech for a second, the reason he was able to be so carefree after “killing” Chuuya is because he KNEW Chuuya was gonna be okay.

First of all, Dazai knowing Chuuya wasn’t gonna die doesn’t take away from his speech. He replayed all those memories for himself, nobody else was seeing what was happening in his head. He was GENUINELY upset at the idea of losing Chuuya and having to put Chuuya through that, DESPITE knowing Chuuya would be okay. He was STILL upset. That’s way better than him thinking he just killed Chuuya, sparing him a thought, not even crying (bc no that wasn’t a tear) and then just moving on being silly as if nothing happened.

And then the other speech him saying that they’re destined to - do you seriously think he’d just make that up for shits and giggles? He was being serious. If he was gonna play it up for Fyodor’s sake he would’ve said the most emotional out of pocket line to ever be written, which to them would be related to him leaving Chuuya behind. But no he just said they’re destined to do something.

Dazai talks a lot about the past to Chuuya (Chuuya does not participate) but those two are clearly emotionally constipated bc they never have a conversation about what they mean to each other (which I think is bc Asagiri is not ready to reveal that yet). This was clearly Dazai taking his opportunity to say what he REALLY thinks / feels forcing Chuuya to listen without the commitment. Bc if anyone gets the ick later he can use the convenient excuse of “oh I didn’t mean that” which is bullshit.

And I do think an element of this idea that it’s worse that Dazai had everything planned comes from the misunderstanding that Dazai has completely changed since he was in the port mafia. Dazai just tends to make “better” (as in more objectively good) choices, but he very much still puts on a front. You guys do realize that his silly persona is just that right? A persona? He’s literally being fake every time he’s silly. That’s not his real personality. He’s a morally gray character. He never became a purely good person and he never will. It makes MUCH more sense that he planned everything out with Chuuya beforehand.

He met up with Akutagawa before getting arrested, he probably did the same with Chuuya.

And yes, this means he DID use and manipulate Sigma the entire time. Why wouldn’t he? Sigma has an ability Dazai needed. I’m sure Dazai planned for sigma to not die bc in his role as a detective it’s part of his job to mitigate losses of innocent lives, he knows this, but also bc Dazai needs to know what sigma learned. I genuinely hope there isn’t anyone out there thinking Dazai wouldn’t manipulate sigma bc he cares about him? He just met him. He has no personal investment in him. But he WILL make sure sigma is alive bc of the aforementioned reasons.

[daz4i]

ik a common pet peeve ppl have with media is that trope of a villain having a really good point about society then immediately killing a baby to achieve it or smth and how it's used by people in power to demonize these criticisms of them. but i do think in bsd when antagonists make a good point it still stands and it's still a good point regardless of what they do about it, and the narrative does not want you to perceive them entirely negatively. like, there's a reason atsushi spends a few chapters in a conflict bc he agrees with fukuchi's ideas, just thinks his methods are harmful. the story lingers on it bc it wants you to stop and think and see the good in them, i think, and not to be mean and turn it around like a "gotcha! you are just as bad for agreeing!" or smth.

i think it all stems from how every character in bsd is morally grey in order to humanize them. every antagonist is presented in a positive light at some point (only exception i can think of is fyodor, who so far hasn't been presented in a really grey way either), their motives or ideals are laid out so you can understand WHY they're doing the things they're doing, and eventually they end up working with the protagonists because well. they're all humans at the end of the day.

the thing driving all protagonists in bsd is simply to keep living (each have their own asterisk next to that, but i won't get into details) and usually keep others safe. they beat the forces that stand in their way of achieving this, but for a moment, these forces' own goals get reflected back onto them, and they become a vehicle for them as well, at times.

it's less of a "villain makes a good point then kills a baby to make you disagree with them", more like "villain makes a good point but the story lingers on it so both you and the in-universe characters think about it and consider it. they also kill a baby but that's more like a personal character flaw that might get ironed out of them with the power of friendship"

that's also why wildly loved characters that are generally considered positive start out trying to kill the protags (akutagawa, chuuya, lucy, poe, sigma, the hunting dogs etc). you know WHY they do this. you know what led them here. you also saw other sides to them - silly moments, helping their comrades or innocent bystanders, positive interactions with the main cast - which help make them feel more human, thus making them easier to understand for us as readers.

idk man i think it's p cool

EDIT: i will also add!!!! that imo fyodor seeming purely evil despite bsd's attempt at humanizing its characters!!!! is less of a fault in writing but rather showing how he dehumanizes HIMSELF. he views himself as more than human. characters like sigma view him as more than human. and so, for now, the narrative will treat him as such too - not bc he's right. but bc it serves his current story, and hopefully a future arc will have him unlearning that, or more layers will be peeled from him so at least we as an audience can see his humanity (i have a feeling the information sigma got from him + the injury dazai gave him + him being bested in general + whatever the fuck "that man" comment was, will all play a part in that)

[questiontocertaintyofreality]

I found another possible proof for Sigma is actually Tolstoi theory today which probably is wrong but ı'll explain.

I suddenly realized that there were no fans who hated Sigma. Of course there are fans who don't like Sigma (i don't see anyone either), but I've never seen a fan with pure hate for Sigma. This made me think about Lev Tolstoi's influence on the public. Tolstoi was inexplicably respected by society and even by western countries, and the tsar could not put Tolsoi in a mental hospital, nor exile him, or even ban his books. These are common things in Russia Tsardom if you write true face of Tsardom and your own ideas which isoppsite to tsar.

(Nikolai Gogol and many other writers who wrote about hypocrisy, corruption and truth they excile as i read they put into mental hospitals till they give up their ideas permanently, the tsar could not touch Tolstoi. Because Tolstoi write morally focused literature that was pleasing to the society, his unhappiness with his wealth and his longing for a modest life made Tolstoy able to care for the peasant class, he pur peasant class in center, which constituted the majority of the society. Although I don't like this kind writing when i compare it with Nikolai Gogol, therefors its effect is really interesting. In other words, Tolstoi was the red line of the Russian people, he was untouchable, but he did not pose a threat on his own, he did not teach the people to rebel, he said that they should obey the law).

If we were to time travel back to that time, I'm not sure we could easily find anyone who didn't like Tolstoy or let alone hate him. Except for the Orthodox church and the tsar, of course. Back to Sigma, he is seen as innocent and extremely loved by the fans. Asagiri may have analyzed and read the fandom and knowingly created a mysterious, investigative and lovable character.

[gore1er]

Analysis on Dazais personality/ manga spoilers ╮⁠(⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)⁠╭

1. Who is dazai?

Dazais personality is some what confusing even though we know a lot about him we never get to see what goes threw his mind so putting your place in his shoes isn't important because he thinks differently then others for example dazai states in dead apple that to get rid of boredom just do nothing. We don't know if he was lying but probably not.

we know dazai had a tragic past and believed he wasn't human and lied to himself. When others told him his not human just like how chuuya lashed out at dazai in the manga and light novel of dead apple that dazai wasn't human.

Dazai mentally dehumanized himself to get use to everything at the port mafia because if he just didn't himself as human then it wouldn't be that bad to hurt others. When dazai met oda, oda knew dazai was shitty and mentioned it a few times I'm sure dazai didn't understand since he dehumanized himself to the point when oda asked dazai to move to the good side and help others even dazai didn't know if it was the right thing.

(deep down I'm sure dazai knew he was shitty)

What does this mean?

It's means dazai is pure and innocent although he did many wrong things doesn't take away the fact dazai is mentally innocent and just does things to create a bigger picture.

Dazai takes the advantage that his in prison right now to save the agency.

At what cost tho?

The cost of oda and dazais friends at the agency. Notice how oda told dazai to save orphans? Well atsushi is an orphan that dazai saved and I bet dazai saved atsushi on almost purpose!

Going back on how dazai is pure from the heart and still a bad person. It's shown some official art dazai is next to lilies. Lilies symbolize purity.

I like this official art a lot because dazai is shown injured next to lilies and it's honestly very very interesting. To be injured is to feel pain or pain is given to you mental or physically and in this official art I think it's supposed to show mental pain and how someone can be pure but still feel sad or depressed. People still can heal which is shown by dazais change overtime for example in the last chapter dazai made a promise to sigma that he would save sigma.

I also want to mention dazais entrance exam something I noticed is that in a few lines dazai mumbles to himself the anime didn't adapt it that well which is annoying (but it makes sense because when bones animated it atsushi was there too and it just wouldn't work well )

Dazai wasn't really close to anybody in the agency when he just just joined and he only knew Kunikida in the beginning half of the Novel so if course dazai would still act a bit quiet. I wouldn't say he was very very quiet but as I said compared to the dazai we know dazai now dazai definitely grown to a better person and opened up a bit. It was very nice to see Kunikida care for dazai and it shows that dazai has someone at least.

Dazai even mentioned Kunikida in the prison the only reason could be that dazai normally thinks about others he cares about. We don't get to see what dazai is always thinking about so the few only times we saw what dazai was thinking about was in dead apple and in this arc and both of those thoughts were about atsushi

Conclusion:

Dazai cares and is pure I think what people don't understand is that they always think dazai is down right evil which he is but he almost yearns for change for odas last wish. I don't think it's about oda anymore though now it's just about dazai and what he wants for others. Dazai could do nothing and still not be the bad guy he still is helping. Look at how different dazai looks trying to kill fydor dazai is determined to the point his acting like his " old self " to save others ( I still think dazai is still doing this for oda)

Dazai is a evil man with good intentions right now and in the past he was down right evil because he thought he deserved that type of life style.

(extra stuff)

This was really difficult to write because I don't want to sound like I'm creating headcannons about dazai but at the same time I wanted to explain how dazai is a piece of shit so I couldn't figure out anything but only leave it off on "dazai is an evil man with good intentions" 🥹 I also didn't want to use dazais personality type because it's not reliable (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

I also want to compare dazais life to the port mafia and the detective agency (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆

But I need to re read the manga and re read the novels to remember everything 🙇‍♀️

[clarkes-and-god]

Tobias's post on alphamalesunite.com:

First Ever Date

Met a girl (14f) while at work, her dad approached me and asked if we wanted to get to know each other better. Long blonde hair, skinny, modest clothes, and a pretty face so obviously I said yes, she's from a good conservative Christian family too which is great. Dad wants a no-touch courtship and I'll have to respect that to have a chance with her, so fucking annoying but at least I know I'll have a pure bride. She's so into me too, it's great, she's so into me, and she's so innocent. Hopefully this relationship goes further, she'd be such a great tradwife for me and I don't want to settle for a feminist slut.

Comments:

@lonelydesperateman: mans out here living the fucking dream. wish i lived somewhere where dating worked like this

@ifeelemasculatedbywomenexisting: congrats bro you give us all hope, continue being a sigma and destroy the libs with ur future tradwife

@iliveinabasementandlikefeet: absolute alpha behaviour u chad

a/n: tobias is turning into a different variant of asshole misogynist

[sskk-ao3feed]

Chaotic overcoat! (bsd chatfic)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/qMBiur3 by Biggestakutagawasimpever Chaotic pm, ada, and doa gc (with some guild members) Words: 2219, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi Characters: Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin, Higuchi Ichiyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Lucy Maud Montgomery (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tanizaki Junichirou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Miyazawa Kenji (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tachihara Michizou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Hirotsu Ryuurou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yumeno Kyuusaku | Q (Bungou Stray Dogs), Elise (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sigma (Bungou Stray Dogs) Relationships: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Gin/Higuchi Ichiyou/Lucy Maud Montgomery, Akutagawa Gin/Lucy Maud Montgomery, Higuchi Ichiyou/Lucy Maud Montgomery (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi/Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky/Nikolai Gogol (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou/Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Tachihara Michizou/Tanizaki Junichirou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Elise/Yumeno Kyuusaku | Q (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka/Miyazawa Kenji (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Fluff and Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Homosexuality, Kyuusaku Yumeno Is A Simp, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke is Bad at Feelings (Bungou Stray Dogs), Elise is a Little Shit (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is a Little Shit (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu is a Menace (Bungou Stray Dogs), Elise is a Menace, Kyuusaku Yumeno is a Menace, Sigma is So Done (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sigma is So Done With Life (Bungou Stray Dogs), Elise Is A Menace (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi is (not so) Innocent (Bungou stray dogs), Kyuusaku Yumeno is a Menace (Bungou Stray Dogs), THAT’S NOT A TAG?!?, Elise is Mori’s Daughter (Bungou Stray Dogs), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mori Ougai is Not a Pedophile (Bungou Stray Dogs), Drunk Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Drunk Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Texting, Chatting & Messaging, Married Fukuzawa Yukuchi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Married Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mentioned smut (maybe), groupchats, Pure Chaos, why isnt that a tag??, Soukoku | Double Black (Bungou Stray Dogs), Shin Soukoku | New Double Black (Bungou Stray Dogs), Aged-Up Character(s), Fluff, Trauma treated as a Joke, Aroace Sigma (Bungou Stray Dogs), Trans Yumeno Kyuusaku (Bungou Stray Dogs) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/qMBiur3